Scuzzy

'We're just two lost souls...swimming in a fish bowl'


Summer has been crazy. It's just been a fuzzy blur of endless pale skin, too much wine, even more work, wasting wages on music and vodka, and chilled evenings with the ladies and cake. My little sisters been to Ghana and back and has just become an entirely gorgeous person...and I've stayed on the island, worked and haven't done anything noticeably special or amazing. Sucks ey?
I've been screwed over, played, shot down, stressed to tears, and well...heartbroken. But fuck it all. If anything its made me realise that I am surrounded by beautiful people who do care...I have no reason to mope about one arsehole who has absolutely no respect for anything without a penis. And in fact, thank you for an entirely eventful summers. I think I've learnt so much more in these few sunny months than I have ever done in all the years stuck doing A levels and even in Uni. Thank you for all the angst and heartache :)...there is nothing wrong with me. You allowed me to escape the rut and now I can breathe a little. It was never worth the anxiety it caused and never will be, no matter how rubbish I feel watching you get on with it...was all just a little delicate bubble waiting to burst. It had it's purpose and then it fucked off...beautifully disposable.

'It's a simple fact that you can't seem to handle me...'.


I have discovered so much this summer and have like just been more mary-like than ever. I've discovered the wonders of caramel soya lattes :)....ahhh my days they are wonderful! Caffeine has never tasted so good...and to a food freak, that is some serious compliment haha :). I've found out that revenge is one of the sweetest things, although I really shouldn't admit to this. Also that if I were a lesbian, Victoria Bruinsma would be my first port of call :D. She is just epic in all proportions and I would never want to loose her...cake sessions would never be the same :). Her, Jake and Laura have made this summer. Spa Tuesdays will always be remembered, even if Jake's vision is disrupted by jacuzzi bubbles so much he can't tell which feet are his own. Haaaaaa love. And despite everything, I've discovered some lovely people amongst all the rubbish. Thanks to the East Cowes crew!! I know I've been a mess recently and all, but you guys have been brilliant and I love you. Mostly :).
Ahhh and I've been to Cardiff and the gorgeous place of Bristol!! Good times; me and Viki, freezing in the rain, wandering around Bristol venting all dislike of men and money whilst searching for Starbucks. Bristol!! Come on Bristol...really, six hours searching for Starbucks?? Pfffffft London next time I think :). But you are rather lovely though Bristolia, so no worries!
Everything else is all a bug fuzz really. Know I've been drunk a lot. A lot, a lot. O dear.....I sound like a total wino. But despite going a bit crazy, it's been what I've needed. Relaxation, new people and total hecticness. Bliss. But I know this chilled feeling and contentedness isn't going to last for long...everyone has started leaving and going back to uni and is so weird that to think that this time last year, I was cramming things into boxes, being a pile of nerves and travelling for two days to get Ireland. Is so weird I'm not doing it all again this year, and I'm dreading being left behind. But time is more needed than a hectic year of literature and all that balls haha. O well. Will all be worth it. Hopefully. And besides...I've finally been on my first ever random date!! Argg I feel loved :). And despite being absolutely petrified and getting a little too light-headed than I planned it...it was, hopefully, strangely good. To all you doubting ladies out there...nice guys do actually exist, we just choose to ignore them most the time...there's always hope. Feels like I never really went to Belfast...I don't remember uni happening...but I know this year is going to be hectic and the most boring, hard core, and yet exciting and scariest year yet. Becoming 20, endless opportunities and having a year to do anything in? I think this could be love....



To life, tears and rubbish men...I thank you for making us realise what we really do have, and all the things that actually mean something



.X.