Delicate

'We might kiss when we are alone
When nobodies watching...might take you home
We might make out when nobodies there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate....'


This might be a lost cause, but I think I need to vent. I understand people deal with things in different ways but there is no need to make every little detail public and open to the interent. You wont believe that I'm hurting a little too...I just don't see the need of everyone knowing. Somethings are meant to be private and a relationship is about two people. Not everyone else.

You made me smile when I had lost all faith in myself. No matter how many people tell you that you might be wonderful and lovely, and how much they value you...nothing says it better than someone caring about you. So thank you. I worried and panicked that I would never live up to your high expectations, and maybe I never really will...but you made me realise that there are lovely guys out there who do have the capacity to respect people. But respect is not the same as love. I never wanted to get cold feet or mess you around..but I think in the end, it just wasn't right for me. Yet, you made me wander around with the biggest smile on my face...I remember walking home in the rain in your hoody, soaked through, but I didn't care how much it chucked it down I was beaming and I felt safe. Loved and safe. Things just moved a little fast and I think we both need to re-assess what we want. I know you probably don't give a fuck any more; I understand that you'll probably move on as fast as we got together, but I miss it all a little and I'm sorry.
I was asked...'have you ever been in love?'. And I think so.
You should love someone because you can't stop thinking about them and can't get enough of them. Because they turn your world upside down and because they are the only thing you want to go home to...not just because everyone else makes you think you do. It's unexplained and just happens.
I might seem un-emotional and un-caring to you. But I'm the opposite. I'm hot-headed, quickly angered and feel every single emotion under the sun. Gahh, I can't even explain why I feel the way I do half the time. So please, if anything, don't say I was never loving. It was all a little soon. I was never made to feel I could live up to the perfect gorgeous image you had in your head all the time, and if something doesn't feel right, then why not risk everything and try and find the thing that does.

God, this all makes me sounds like such a nob. I'm sorry.

.X.